The Lovely Day

I have not been making good use out of my days here.

Today is the day i did Lovely things.

Rode Bikes.

Drank Tea.

Finished my book.

Smelled fresh growing flowers.

Planned a cake.

Bought new shoes.

Held a stray cat.

Planned a trip to Paris.

Ate vegan ice cream.

Went New Moon pranking.

Listened to Alexi Murdoch and Regina.

Watched the clouds.

Thought about my love for Bella.

Planned to take over the world.

Laughed out loud.

Took a walk, Gave a compliment, Took a compliment, Danced in the street, Thought of new ideas, Made a to do list, Day Dreamed, Thought of old friends, Handed out leaflets, Spoke up in class, Let a cockroach go free.


La Bella Vita

{pictures weheartit && maggie & me} 

The Friend

Dear Alyssa,

I am so glad that you have a blog. and you wrote in it three times. I miss you a lot. and i always think about that time i called you when i was in salt lake and you came all the way from your home in Mapleton to see me. Actually i think this happened two times. 
We have known each other for a whole year now. I remember when i met you on Halloween night, i was such a fool and i kept showing my bum to you. Then i secretly added you on faceboob. then we met and went to inkheart... the greatest movie ever filmed. 
I love being friends with A.P.

Alyssa in my moms shorts.

I went to St. George. with alyssa and d. and bella 

Emerald Suites. 

On our way.

Wild Things before they were cool.

The Jean

J'adore Jean Seberg.

She is a pretty lovely smart lady.

In April i plan on cutting my hair short!!

Maybe before..I am being real impatient.

The Prayer

There is a prayer intended to give strength to people who are given circumstances they do not want to accept.

 The power of the prayer comes from its insight into human nature.

 God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change.

 Because so many of us hold boiled up bitterness to what life has dealt us.

 The courage to change the things we can.

 Because so many of us are cowardly and afraid to stand up for what is right. 

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice.

 Most believe that if they say these words god will hear and answer. But the bad news is that sometimes the answer is no. 

I say these words every night before i fall asleep.

 Not as a prayer but as a reminder to myself. 

To do all i can do. 

And the things i cannot will come in time and if not all i can do is try harder the next time. 

And to remind myself of the courage i hold inside. 

And how strong i really am. 

And to remind myself to let go of all the circumstances i have no power over. 

And remember sometimes the answer is no. 

Bonne Nuit!!

The Issy

This songs makes me feel so confused, because i feel so happy and sad and nostalgic all at the same time.

 I love remembering old memories, but some of them are not very happy and i wish they would not sneak into my brain as much as they do. I think about my sad memories, and i freak out about my sad memories, and i think about how much i think about my sad memories, and i freak out about how much i think about how much i think about my sad memories, and i think about how freaked out i get about how much i think about how much i think about my sad memories. 

My favorite memory right now is when I was visiting Isabelle in Amsterdam, we went to a window restraunt, and every time a cute looking boy walked by we made a kissing face or mouthed him to call us. Most boys just laughed and kept walking, but one boy took us seriously and came into the restraunt. We freaked out because we thought our parents were going to get mad since they were dining with us and we were a mere 14 years old. We jumped and dashed the three yards to the bathroom. Our waiter had been watching us all the while, and kindly asked the boy to leave. after a long five minutes he came and knocked on the door and told us we were safe. He didnt let us go free however, he laughed at us and told us how silly girls were. Then he came and told our parents what we did, luckily they laughed and made us feel like fools as well. Out of this whole jumble we earned free desert however. and i must say dutch desert is divine. 

I really miss Issy. I am planning to see her this coming year. IN AMERICA!

The last One Again.

Must love cats.

I once had a kitten with a friend. 

Accidentally the kitten died.

I have bad luck with pets. 

I still love them so much. 

The closest i get to owning a kitten is this poster for now. It is such a lovely poster. 

The Home

Walking the streets late at night. wind blowing too hard westward. 

Singing songs by our favorite artist Spegina Rektor out loud since it was late enough for nobody else to hear. 

A strange cat heard and came waltzing from a distance. deciding to trust us or not. he did. so i picked him up and cradled him like a baby. following us for a few yards then stopping to sit.. each way. forward and backward.

 I feel so happy for he knew his home. 

We continued our walk talking about home and the smart cat. 

four minus one minus house is my home. i worry that the home feeling will be non-existent. but my head tells me family will bring the home feeling no matter where we are. no matter who is gone far away. 

The End of Solitude

College brings days of non-loneliness. There is no real time or place to be solitary here. I especially like to be solitary. 

I enjoy my company a lot. 

I am really good at making myself laugh. 

I am really good at making others laugh too. 

I do not find very many things very funny though. and i use my courtesy laugh much too often. Im going to start working on this. 

Also im going to start working on using my people voice less. 

Amy linked me to this article.

 It is really interesting, talking about the diminishing value of solitude because of technology.  

It made me glad that i rarely take my phone out of my room. I am going to try not looking at my phone in the daylight this week. 

Also glad that my faceboob is gone.

I really enjoy my close friends. and i think very highly of them all. but i do not really enjoy knowing that Sara May a girl from my English class that i have talked to once is "eating old Halloween candy while listening to Party in the USA." this does no good for my relationships or my brain. 

This is interesting.. sending 3,000 text message a month, is 100 a day, or about one every ten waking minutes, so on average you are never alone for more then 10 minutes at once. or never alone. 

The Unrealist

The Thunder is grumbling and rumbling right now.

I have never heard it so loud in my life

It is 3 o'clock in the morning 

And I am laying in bed with big eyes and a scared mind. 

Loud Thunder

Paranormal Activity

Needles 

Boogie Man Under Bed

Boogie Man In Bathroom

Seeing Something Unreal In the Mirror 

This is what i am scared of at the moment. 

I really need to wash my face before bed. 

The Creep

GOOD NEWS ALERT!
I come home in less then two weeks!


Amy came up with a brilliant alternate use for the Haleiwa Eats candles. Maybe you can figure it out...

I love empty bus rides. MaggieEliza. Amy. and. Me. are perfect. nobody else really needs to be around. The top half of my outfit today was similar to a watermelon. Not on purpose but low cut green shirt and bright pink bra equals watermelon human. We came to realize it is very hard to take photos on the bus, especially with the bus driver we have been getting lately. He cruises. We get to places in nearly half the time with him. okay maybe thats an exaggeration. But he is almost close to the real Speed Racer. 

LookinghalfAsian

My creepy dark path friend found us on the bus. I try very hard to not look at him whenever i see him to avoid any possible awkward conversation. I even went out of my way today to turn my back to him and put both of my headphones in. But he managed to get my attention from all the way across the bus. "Why do you completely avoid me now?" so i laughed at his awkwardness and said. "Because that text you sent me was ridiculous and creepy." then he asked what text, but i did not waste my time telling him because i knew he knew exactly what i was talking about. so i put my headphones in and turned away again. He got off before our stop and said goodbye to me, i was polite and gave him a quick sayonara. Creepy men flock to hawaii. thank god for the offender locator app on my iphone. Too bad i never take iphone out of my room. 

I love Matt&Kim this week. They are such a cute girlboy band.

The Sadness

Lately I have been thinking a lot about transferring to the University of Utah for school next year. 

Many of my friends go there, and i would love to live in SLC. for awhile at least. It is real close to my family and still far enough away. Hawaii is real far away. maybe too far. 

But tonight i came across THIS. And now im rethinking my options heavily. 

Animal testing is so cruel. I do not fully understand it either. Animals are not humans, they are going to react to experiments much differently then a human would. So why would we test human experiments on them. 

If it is not humane to experiment on on real life humans, why is it humane to experiment on real life animals? 

I think it is more humane to experiment on humans. People can volunteer themselves for experiments. Animals on the other hand have no way of speaking up for themselves. 

And why do we need all these new kinds of products.. i think the shampoos and hair sprays that we have now are just fine. 

In a way i can see experimenting on mice. but not really. mice are not men. but i can in no way see how anyone would think it okay to experiment on a cat or a dog. This makes me so sad. Cats and dogs are the greatest animals to ever live. Maybe better then humans in my mind. 

I am a volunteer at PETA, and last week they sent me some flyers in the mail called 'GIVE TURKEYS A REASON TO GIVE THANKS.' they also wrote me a little letter asking me to hand these out to people around my school. i have handed out about a dozen. and two people so far have come to me and told me they are going to try vegetarianism out. It makes me so happy to know that i am helping, and having an influence on people.  

Undercover Investigation Reveals Kitten Deaths and Other Animal Suffering. Learn More.

The ButterFace

Please spare me Lady Gaga.  You are not acceptable.  I can not even pretend to like you. 

HeatherR. you listen to Lady almost everyday on video chat, so i watched a few of her music videos to see if you were just as certifiably insane as Lady Radio. 

She wears the most weirdass outfits ever designed by mankind. 

That lightening bolt on the side of her face has to go. Not so clever unless you're Harry Potter or Ziggy Stardust and its 1973. 

She is killing me. Lady-Raga video assult. 

"I'm a single girl. I like to have a good time. I just sleep with the guys in the band all the time because it's easier"-Lady G.  easier? easier then what? trying to convince the world that you are not the tranny hooker you look to be...

"I am inspired by so many things. My favorite book, 'Letters to a Young Poet.' I was inspired by Helmut Newton for the 'Paparazzi' video. I'm inspired by fashion. I'm inspired by the moonlight. I'm inspired by sex and pornography and slasher films."- Lady G.  BLAH BLAH. make a real life slasher film Raga. 

I <3 HeatherR. 

HeatherR. <3 GaGa

GaGa <3 MaggieEliza. 

{ideas thanks to HeatherR. and kenzi}

The Gone

The only thing certain in life in death. Nothing more. 

I think about this in a sad way.

Then i think, If life was worth all the work it took to live, what exactly is it that makes it worth it? 

And what is so horrible about not feeling anything and being dead forever, and not even dreaming...

What is so great about feeling and dreaming..

So-long two half friends...To the great beyond. 

For a long time.

The Song

These are the lyrics to my favorite song this week.

An old friend comes to mind when i listen 
Dear Old friend:
I adore you, you crazy, beautiful, wonderful 
(but also sometimes quite weird- but still very lovely) person.


Oh cruel, fate.
Hello SquArE oNe


You're directing me.
Your eyes focused like a microscope.
Get the cuts you need.
Eyes focused like a microscope.


Go steady with me.
I know it turns you off when I
I get talking like a teen.
I get talking like a teen.


You're directing me.
You're dressed up. I lose my grip, my focus.
Make those eyes at me.
I lose my grip, I lose my focus.


Go steady with me.
I know it turns you off when I
I get talking like a teen.
I get talking like a teen.

Go steady with me.

I know it turns you off when I

I get talking like a teen.

I get talking like a teen.

You're directing me. (Hold on to me)

Your eyes focused like a microscope.

Get the cuts you need. (Hold on to me)

Eyes focused like a microscope.


You're directing me. (Hold on to me)
You're dressed up I lose my grip, my focus.
Make those eyes at me. (Hold on to me)
I lose my grip, I lose my focus.


Go steady with me.
I know it turns you off when I
I get talking like a teen..
I get talking like a teen...

The shop

After thinking tonight, i came up with the idea to stop purchasing non-essential things for a few weeks or maybe months.

 Okay, i know this seems dramatic,

 but think of the great experiences i could have instead of going to the mall all day or shopping online all night. 

I would maybe have time to do all the things that i currently think i do not have time to do...

things like reading good reads, going on hikes, doing my homework, going to museums, learning to photograph better, spending more time in the library, going on runs, spending time at the beach. 

Also not shopping could help me appreciate what i already have. 

And heighten my creative side.  

I might even discover things in my closet that have been tucked away un-used. 

And probably even never worn.

The only problem with this idea is, if i tell myself i can not shop. I will want to shop real bad, just because i cant.

 This is where my super human will-power will come into play. (not really though..im a little weak)  

We shall see where this idea goes. 

The Red

I really love the color red.

lovely red garden.

lovely red bow

lovely red hat and lips

lovely red fall leaves

lovely red frog

lovely red umbrellas

lovely red glasses plus extremely lovely book

lovely red culinary art

lovely red bow plus nice asain

lovely red house

not so lovely red smoke

Time is so strange it keeps going all the time and somehow what you had just goes away.


{pictures thx to me and ffffound}

The Alone

Kissing is a strange thing, the act itself never varies, but each kiss comes with a meaning all its own. It can convey eternal devotion, enormous regret, it can symbolize a growing passion or even a growing concern. But whatever the meaning each kiss reflects a basic human need, the need to connect to another human being. Some might say that this desire is so strong it is amazing when some people do not understand it. 

I think that maybe i do not understand human connections.

It is hard for me to remember the last time if ever i truly selflessly cared about something or maybe someone.

I think this may be a big reason why i love animals so much.

maybe my conscious is filled with lots of empty space.

{pictures thanks to ffffound}