Dyer

Sean emailed this to me today:

"First of all, I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.

Twenty-five centuries ago in ancient China, Lao-tzu said there were four virtues. If you live them—if you live in a place of God-consciousness—the universe will give you God-consciousness. If you live in a place of ego-consciousness, though, the universe will give you more of that.

One virtue is reverence for all of life. You revere all life. You never kill, you never harm, you never wish harm, and you never have thoughts of harm directed toward yourself or others. Another virtue is natural sincerity, which is manifested as honesty. Just be honest with who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t be a phony. Walk your talk. That’s how God works, so doing it is emulating how Source works. The third virtue is gentleness, which manifests as kindness toward all others.

The fourth virtue, which is relevant here, is supportiveness. If you say to the universe, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” which is what a lot of the work around the law of attraction says because of a misinterpretation, then the universe gives you back what you offered out. You get more “gimme, gimme, gimme.” “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. The universe just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.

If, on the other hand, you say to the universe again and again, “How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?” and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, the universe will respond back, “How may I serve you?”"

i love this. it makes me feel like any problem i think i have doesn't need to exist as a problem. and its only a problem because i have made it a problem in my mind. that idea makes me feel really free

new era

i have been thinking about writing in this blog more often
i dont know if anyone reads it anymore
but i think i will 

the book was excellent

i want something exciting to happen. the news is always about the weather. blah blah. im sick of the weather. i wish i had a tv show that i was interested in right now. im not really interested in reading anything. i dont want to knit anything. its too snowy to go out anywhere. i dont really have anybody that interesting to talk to or see. and mom is gone so the house is really lonely. its less lonely than salt lake house though. when sean is gone that place beams eeriness. 

Merry Hats Day

I started knitting this winter. Ive mostly been doing hats for the little ones at the hospital but i just started making big ones! so get excited for hats my friends! also im going to start doing some scarves soon so if you want one call me beep me if you wanna reach me. 

(my plan for december was to post something i made everyday.. but ive been slacking so this is a big few weeks post all in one)

Long Time Gone

Its been awhile since i last wrote so ill give an update post and then a few better posts to come shortly!

I finally finished fall semester at the U. I really have loved it. its a much better fit for me than BYUH. although i do really miss the girls from hawaii. I decided im going to go into nursing. its a bit of a change but i think it will be really excellent. so ill start my prereqs next semester and go from there.

I moved to a new apartment closer to school that is lovely, plus my best friend lives in the door next to me :) the downfall is im having a hard time getting all moved in and situated because of maintenance. but once its all finished it will be awesome and ill post some pictures when the time comes.

I got a new job working at a home with Autistic girls. im getting more used to it and its sinking in a lot more. but its definitely better than kneaders. Dayna and Berklee work there as well so its good to see my best girls more often. i miss them up in salt lake.

Ive been feeling in a rut for the past few months. im not sure what its from so thats a big factor in me moving and changing jobs. I also changed my hair style and i feel like that has helped me a lot. im not sure what is causing it because i feel content with most things in my life, i guess something is missing. im hoping the break in school and getting to spend more time with my family will help me figure it out.

90210

My best girl friend dayna had the most beautiful baby girl and i love her and both of them will all my heart!!!

Lila Faye

Born September 2, 1010

8 pounds 16 ounces

18.5 inches long

Dayna! you did it! i am so proud of you and i couldnt dream of a kinder more selfless friend than you. you are truly an angel and i love you. your baby is so pretty! i loved holding her and looking at her big baby eyes and chubby baby body. she is perfect. I cant wait for you to come home to be my SL buddy lover.  

watch that watch this

im writing letters and making envelopes for all you lovelies right now
<# <#

ratssss

My blog has become extremely impersonal lately.. im so sorry. i guess i get nervous at the snakes lurking around on the web. but i have been lacking on my personal journal as well and my mind is forgetful and i dont remember this summer that well. so fall ill try to be better. 


Nobody seems interesting to me lately. I try hanging around new people but they always come off too strong. i dont know if its me or them now. anyway... i have spent a lot of time alone this month. i can count the lonely days and the sad ones but i realized lonely isnt always sad. plus i got two new pet rats to help my lonely days
Olivia-she is hairless and beautiful. when i bought her there was a tiny cyst on her eye that they said would go away. but after a week or so it grew huge.. so the other night i popped the rat zit! it was true horror, green goo and blood running down her face. shes doing a lot better now and seems so to have such a happier spirit. 
Leo is a tiny baby girl rat with black and white hair. shes so sweet and friendly. the first day she came home she had a serious sneezing problem so i looked it up and turns out baby rats sneeze when they are excited. 


They are almost impossible to take pictures of- but here they are

im going out of town for a few days
see you later pretty people

one year ago today

was my first day in hawaii

The word love is not enough. i could say i love many but i mean completely different things each time i say it. the word loves means too little for what it is. it means everything and that is still not enough. it doesnt communicate even a fraction of the feelings involved. the word is not enough for what it is. 
love. love. 

almost august

im finally back in utah
i went horseback riding all weekend the energy from horses is so mysterious and healing 
im going to the dentist next week
i found a house in salt lake, ill move in august sometime
dayna is having her baby in a month
im learning to get in touch with my emotions better or at all
i met paul hes into shaman healing and energy
he convinced me to buy a book on astrology--im on chapter 3
i have been self motivating myself to be more productive and level headed. on thursday i get to gift myself! and i think ill buy something similar to one of these

IPHONE

my phone isnt working
its broken
i havent turned it on for a day or two but the last time i did it was freaking out and every letter was either a K or L.....
so sorry for ditching the tea party
and sorry for being a hermit all weekend
also im out of town

so long this weekend

Im leaving for a second. 


See you soon utah

robotmanaic

right now my chest is empty but so heavy

i feel so sad but so glad i am feeling emotion

i want it stay but i always feel numb