she's a carnival

Goodbyes

2011-08-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

To all you weirdos who still check this blog, i think im offically done posting here. but if you still want to know what im doing or looking at or looking like you can follow my other blog here or here or here

i love you all!
see you there!

baby date

2011-06-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

the other day dayna and I went on a date with the babies. let me tell you these babies are quite the bunch. little baby Lila is all grown up now (well comparably) and just as cute as a button. and baby Charlee is the tinniest little diva i ever did meet.

little Ava joined us in the end and we all had a blast soaking up the rays and listening to children cry and scream for hours. although hanging with babies and their moms its really great i love coming home to a quite house where its just me and the kitty cat and no babies are welcome.

sock guy

2011-06-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

i have been very down and awkward the past few weeks. i hope its a short term kind of thing and will disappear soon. other than that life is good, im going to chicago soon and i get to see my very favorite brit lady.

and i made this monkey the other day

the salty city #1

2011-06-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

While getting pizza the other day Sean and I discovered a great little house in the middle of town. It was closed for the day unfortunately but it was all about free speech including and especially graffiti art. one day i want to have a home where anyone can come and express themselves whether through words, drawings, graffiti, dance, crafts any such art they desire. i think this is such a beautiful way to show freedom.

and here we are pondering the thought of such a home :)

graduation

2011-06-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

a few days ago was my little sisters 6th grade graduation. to me it is absolutely insane that she is already going into jr. high. while looking around at all the little misters and misses i couldn't help but notice how pumped they all were to be leaving elementary, my sister included. i wanted so badly to remind them to embrace their young age because school only gets more awkward and terrible each year. i wanted to tell all of them to listen to their older siblings and especially their parents because looking back they were always right, always. i want to tell them to think ahead and be kind to everyone. so good luck miss mckell! i hope you have the best experience possible.

news this week

2011-06-01T22:19:00.000-07:00

i have a terrible habit of deleting almost every post i write before i post it. i would post everything if i thought it was interesting but usually its pretty boring and i dont know how to start or end posts, only begin. so i have ten posts, ten that i just deleted, but i usually only write at work so luckily its not a total waste of time.

Sunday i brought three baby kitties and their mama kitty home for two weeks. im going to be their foster mom for the time so they are nice and cuddly when they are old enough to be adopted. they are darling! i am so in love with all of them. one is white her name is Shiloh or Milo. i dont know, it changes mostly everyday. but she is white and looks a little siamese. one is a calico color and she has been really timid, she doesnt have a name but sean made her his project yesterday so hopefully she will blossom soon. and the boy is black. we all call him blackie but i might name him Sylvester. hes a punk. and for the mama, she has a name i just forgot it so she is officially 'mama kitty' at the house. i never realized how stinky kitties are until now so im going to stick with dogs, but they are really great guests.

here are the babies eating

this is little shiloh/milo

Monday i went on a hike with sean, ezra and kate. we weren't prepared at all and it was really snowy and wet up there so we only made it about half way but it was okay because it was so beautiful and nice to be up in nature. on the way down we passed a group that was hiking with their llama, it was so scary and so funny.

Tuesday i went to mazza with dayna. we are trying to go to new restaurants when we go out, but the new ones are never as good as the old. mazza was alright, its middle eastern cuisine so i had a falafel sandwich. it was pretty well priced however sean and i made falafel sandwiches last week at home and they were delicious and so much better than mazza's version.

Wednesday i have just taken it easy at home because for the next two days and two nights i will work 37 hours. sounds terrible! all of my favorite friends at work are out of town as well so its going to be mad boring. plus i dont get to go home to salt lake until friday night so i will miss the mister so much. but to pass the time ill try to blog everyday, ill try to take pictures of something fun i do at work or a picture of JoAnas cute smiling face every morning :)

the fish

2011-04-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone should watch this movie

humanity has really lost it
though its not my generation creating the damage, in a few years it will be and i believe we will only make it worse. im not sure if there is really a way to make a big difference, but i know there is a list of sustainable fish to eat here.

if youre reading this consider printing the list off and taking it around with you, it only takes a few seconds to ask where the fish you are eating comes from.

you would never eat a cheetah or a wolf or a lion or an orangutan, so why would you eat a fish who is under the same circumstances?

Spring Has Sprung

2011-04-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

Summer is almost here according to school, but the weather seems thinks different. Im in the library right now taking a break from studying, so far this week i have had a chemistry exam and biology exam and a large math project due. this week is over for school, but i still have a biology final, english portfolio, math final, and chemistry final all on monday. its going to be a long day. but then im done!

I think i did fairly well this semester, i had major winter blues for half of the semester and kind of let myself go, but im making up for it hopefully, now that the trees are budding and the lovely spring colors are emerging.

Bella has been living in salt lake with me for the past month or so since my mom moved to chicago. things up here have been so wonderful since she came around. she is always happy to see everyone and brings such a great energy to the room. we all love her! plus she finally went to the dog dentist and got 8 teeth pulled and all of the remaining cleaned so its much easier to live with her, another plus, grace the brat is not here to bug everyone ;)

Dyer

2011-03-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

Sean emailed this to me today:

"First of all, I think the law of attraction has been misstated. You do not attract what you want. You attract what you are. That’s how the law of attraction works.

Twenty-five centuries ago in ancient China, Lao-tzu said there were four virtues. If you live them—if you live in a place of God-consciousness—the universe will give you God-consciousness. If you live in a place of ego-consciousness, though, the universe will give you more of that.

One virtue is reverence for all of life. You revere all life. You never kill, you never harm, you never wish harm, and you never have thoughts of harm directed toward yourself or others. Another virtue is natural sincerity, which is manifested as honesty. Just be honest with who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t be a phony. Walk your talk. That’s how God works, so doing it is emulating how Source works. The third virtue is gentleness, which manifests as kindness toward all others.

The fourth virtue, which is relevant here, is supportiveness. If you say to the universe, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” which is what a lot of the work around the law of attraction says because of a misinterpretation, then the universe gives you back what you offered out. You get more “gimme, gimme, gimme.” “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. The universe just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.

If, on the other hand, you say to the universe again and again, “How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?” and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, the universe will respond back, “How may I serve you?”"

i love this. it makes me feel like any problem i think i have doesn't need to exist as a problem. and its only a problem because i have made it a problem in my mind. that idea makes me feel really free

new era

2011-03-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

i have been thinking about writing in this blog more often
i dont know if anyone reads it anymore
but i think i will

the book was excellent

2010-12-29T17:40:00.000-08:00

2010-12-29T17:31:00.000-08:00

i want something exciting to happen. the news is always about the weather. blah blah. im sick of the weather. i wish i had a tv show that i was interested in right now. im not really interested in reading anything. i dont want to knit anything. its too snowy to go out anywhere. i dont really have anybody that interesting to talk to or see. and mom is gone so the house is really lonely. its less lonely than salt lake house though. when sean is gone that place beams eeriness.

Merry Hats Day

2010-12-19T11:35:00.000-08:00

I started knitting this winter. Ive mostly been doing hats for the little ones at the hospital but i just started making big ones! so get excited for hats my friends! also im going to start doing some scarves soon so if you want one call me beep me if you wanna reach me.

(my plan for december was to post something i made everyday.. but ive been slacking so this is a big few weeks post all in one)

Long Time Gone

2010-12-18T10:40:00.000-08:00

Its been awhile since i last wrote so ill give an update post and then a few better posts to come shortly!

I finally finished fall semester at the U. I really have loved it. its a much better fit for me than BYUH. although i do really miss the girls from hawaii. I decided im going to go into nursing. its a bit of a change but i think it will be really excellent. so ill start my prereqs next semester and go from there.

I moved to a new apartment closer to school that is lovely, plus my best friend lives in the door next to me :) the downfall is im having a hard time getting all moved in and situated because of maintenance. but once its all finished it will be awesome and ill post some pictures when the time comes.

I got a new job working at a home with Autistic girls. im getting more used to it and its sinking in a lot more. but its definitely better than kneaders. Dayna and Berklee work there as well so its good to see my best girls more often. i miss them up in salt lake.

Ive been feeling in a rut for the past few months. im not sure what its from so thats a big factor in me moving and changing jobs. I also changed my hair style and i feel like that has helped me a lot. im not sure what is causing it because i feel content with most things in my life, i guess something is missing. im hoping the break in school and getting to spend more time with my family will help me figure it out.

2010-11-02T18:55:00.001-07:00

90210

2010-09-04T22:24:00.000-07:00

My best girl friend dayna had the most beautiful baby girl and i love her and both of them will all my heart!!!

Lila Faye

Born September 2, 1010

8 pounds 16 ounces

18.5 inches long

Dayna! you did it! i am so proud of you and i couldnt dream of a kinder more selfless friend than you. you are truly an angel and i love you. your baby is so pretty! i loved holding her and looking at her big baby eyes and chubby baby body. she is perfect. I cant wait for you to come home to be my SL buddy lover.

watch that watch this

2010-08-23T10:22:00.001-07:00

2010-08-13T20:47:00.001-07:00

im writing letters and making envelopes for all you lovelies right now
<# <#

ratssss

2010-08-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

My blog has become extremely impersonal lately.. im so sorry. i guess i get nervous at the snakes lurking around on the web. but i have been lacking on my personal journal as well and my mind is forgetful and i dont remember this summer that well. so fall ill try to be better.

Nobody seems interesting to me lately. I try hanging around new people but they always come off too strong. i dont know if its me or them now. anyway... i have spent a lot of time alone this month. i can count the lonely days and the sad ones but i realized lonely isnt always sad. plus i got two new pet rats to help my lonely days
Olivia-she is hairless and beautiful. when i bought her there was a tiny cyst on her eye that they said would go away. but after a week or so it grew huge.. so the other night i popped the rat zit! it was true horror, green goo and blood running down her face. shes doing a lot better now and seems so to have such a happier spirit.
Leo is a tiny baby girl rat with black and white hair. shes so sweet and friendly. the first day she came home she had a serious sneezing problem so i looked it up and turns out baby rats sneeze when they are excited.

They are almost impossible to take pictures of- but here they are

2010-08-08T22:12:00.001-07:00

2010-07-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

im going out of town for a few days
see you later pretty people

one year ago today

2010-07-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

was my first day in hawaii

2010-07-26T18:21:00.000-07:00

The word love is not enough. i could say i love many but i mean completely different things each time i say it. the word loves means too little for what it is. it means everything and that is still not enough. it doesnt communicate even a fraction of the feelings involved. the word is not enough for what it is.
love. love.

almost august

2010-07-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

im finally back in utah
i went horseback riding all weekend the energy from horses is so mysterious and healing
im going to the dentist next week
i found a house in salt lake, ill move in august sometime
dayna is having her baby in a month
im learning to get in touch with my emotions better or at all
i met paul hes into shaman healing and energy
he convinced me to buy a book on astrology--im on chapter 3
i have been self motivating myself to be more productive and level headed. on thursday i get to gift myself! and i think ill buy something similar to one of these

IPHONE

2010-07-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

my phone isnt working
its broken
i havent turned it on for a day or two but the last time i did it was freaking out and every letter was either a K or L.....
so sorry for ditching the tea party
and sorry for being a hermit all weekend
also im out of town

so long this weekend

2010-07-10T23:15:00.000-07:00

Im leaving for a second.

See you soon utah

robotmanaic

2010-07-09T23:07:00.000-07:00

right now my chest is empty but so heavy

i feel so sad but so glad i am feeling emotion

i want it stay but i always feel numb

I DOWNLOADED WOW AGAIN

2010-06-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

so far i am a level 4 undead warlock. and im using the free ten day trial so im becoming hopeless since i cant send money over to this character from the others. anyway. im not going to spend my whole summer doing this. only a few hours a week. and i think i might need to share my account plus computer with sean so the time keeps disappearing.

sunday dinner

2010-06-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

Today sean and i cooked a dinner for his family plus grandma and grandpa ivins. we had a late start on the cooking so it all went a little weird but over all it was a good meal.
-limeade
-eggplant parmesan
-noodles
-couscous
-salad
-sliders
-squash soup
-chocolate pie

After we went on a drive up to the rodeo grounds to try and take a walk in the clouds but they were too high up so we sat in the car and just looked around. the rain was so pretty it was like we weren't in utah but somewhere else. somewhere much better. it was truly a one of the best days.

In my room

2010-06-08T00:15:00.001-07:00

Ive decided i really love elephants

few up to dates

2010-06-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

-I have a job
-I have been looking at Salt lake houses
-My card expired about a week ago and i still havent gone to get a new one so im living off no money currently
-I have only slept at home twice this week
-I wonder how bean bags can feel so comfortable while sleeping in them but when you wake up you feel so horrible
-I have been hanging with the same one person
-Im missing my girl friends
-My favorite tea is passion

we had a family party

2010-05-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

at the cemetery...and sent letters and balloons to paul!

next work is week

2010-05-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

Since i have been home my job has been plasma.. but only five more days. five more days until the wonderful days of young life is over and i enter working life. i can say that i have not had a real job for a few years. i have stuck with house work for mother, driving around sister, writing a few articles in my bed, and giving plasma.

The first time i gave plasma i fainted while doing so. the second time i was deferred for low red blood cells. the third time went okay. and the fourth i was placed next to a darker man who bluntly asked me if i was interested in black men. so i said 'no i am actually not' not completely true but i wasnt in the mood to make a new friend. however he kept talking to me asking me what religion i believed in. i told him none. and he said that was 'sick and wrong'... intelligent words. he never asked me what i believed but he did tell me how evolution cant be proven and nobody has ever witnessed evolution. also he didnt believe the big bang theory and thought that it was more plausible that a man named god somehow created the earth. Oddly he wasnt mormon. he believed mormonism was evil and he grew up as a muslim. i have no idea what he told me his name was but i completely love running across intelligent men like him. and the fifth-eighth times i have been deferred for low red blood cells.i really hate being deferred not because i cant donate but more because it feels like rejection and i hate that feeling. it feels like failure also because i have been taking so many vitamins and eating many many vegetables but STILL i am unhealthy.

ALSO next week my favorite friend comes home! :)

GOODBYE MAY2010

lucky pair

2010-05-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

I came across the best pair of black boots at the DI a few days ago. They were so perfect from a distance. they were lace up boots, not short but not high. a little faded and worn looking but still in good condition. thats about as much as i could see from where i was standing. when i went to get closer to grab and try on some girl came out of nowhere from the other side and and completely stole them...I stood there for a minute thinking maybe she would look and try on and they wouldnt fit, but she didnt even look at them really let alone try them on. she just threw them in her cart looked at me with a smile and went on her way. i was a little upset at her smile and i spent and embarrassing amount of time hunting the shelves for another good find with no luck.

BUT today i went to visit my fathers house and sitting on the counter was a lovely pair of green oxford shoes that he decided to surprise me with.
THANKS PAPA

uptodate

2010-05-07T17:02:00.000-07:00

1. I moved back home to utah. its great to be at home. my one complaint is the weather is not so much spring weather and rather cold most of the time. jacket weather.

2. I got a job! it found me though. and when i told my mother of it last night she told me no bueno... so now i guess i will start looking

3. i have lost 7 pounds since i moved home! that equals about to be about 2 pounds a week but really probably 7 pounds in one week because for a while i was eating hemp hearts and drinking coffee every morning. then the coffee ran out and the hemp hearts got bland and i had no money to get more. but mother is home now so the kitchen will hopefully fill up again soon. ALSO she told me she was looking at treadmills! good news because she was always against them and i was always for them.

4. Its really nice to have my own room and bed and bathroom but it gets kind of quiet around here during the days and i really miss maggie and marissa and alicia and devin at those times

5. I was so set on getting a bed a few weeks ago because its hard to see my tv with no bed so my mother, sean, and i went to ikea and got me a bed. but after 3 weeks it still sits in the box on my floor. hopefully ill get to it this week because right now all i can see is the negative on the tv.

6. I decided on the U for fall.

7. I am on a new diet. whole foods diet, nothing processed. but its not going that well. im going to my grandmas house this weekend to grind some wheat for bread

8. I need to start exercising regularly

tiger sleep

2010-04-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

my blog is lacking
im really sorry blog world
i will get back in the groove later this week

i promise i swear

love is love is love

2010-03-29T02:00:00.001-07:00

i love feeling in like
i love love
<3

pop battle

2010-03-29T01:26:00.000-07:00

The other day on the bus marissa and i were debating whether britney or madonna was the queen of pop.
we both agreed britney.
madonna came first but britneys music is much more grove pop and probably more popular too.
every britney album amazes me
i will always love britney first
but like a prayer is wonderful

Justin babay

2010-03-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

One reason why you would not want to live in my hallway this time of year.
Marissa and Devin play this ALL the time
And secretly i think they are rubbing off on maggie because shes starting to play it too

dog days vs. cat nights

2010-03-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

This is double dip worthy

Lovelier words

2010-03-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ailurophile A cat-lover.

Becoming Attractive.
Brood To think alone.
Bungalow A small, cozy cottage.
Chatoyant Like a cat’s eye.
Conflate To blend together.
Cynosure A focal point of admiration.
Dalliance A brief love affair.
Denouement The resolution of a mystery.
Dulcet Sweet, sugary.
Effervescent Bubbly.
Efflorescence Flowering, blooming.
Elixir A good potion.
Eloquence Beauty and persuasion in speech.
Embrocation Rubbing on a lotion.
Epiphany A sudden revelation.
Erstwhile At one time, for a time.
Ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
Evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
Evocative Suggestive.
Fetching Pretty.
Furtive Shifty, sneaky.
Glamour Beauty.
Harbinger Messenger with news of the future.
Inure To become jaded.
Ingenue A naïve young woman.
Labyrinthine Twisting and turning.
Lagniappe A special kind of gift.
Lilt To move musically or lively.
Lissome Slender and graceful.
Lithe Slender and flexible.
Love Deep affection.
Mellifluous Sweet sounding.
Nemesis An unconquerable archenemy.
Offing The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
Opulent Lush, luxuriant.
Panacea A solution for all problems
Petrichor The smell of earth after rain.
Plethora A large quantity.
Quintessential Most essential.
Ratatouille A spicy French stew.
Ravel To knit or unknit.
Redolent Fragrant.
Sempiternal Eternal.
Serendipity Finding something nice while looking for something else.
Summery Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
Sumptuous Lush, luxurious.
Surreptitious Secretive, sneaky.
Susurrous Whispering, hissing.
Talisman A good luck charm.
Tintinnabulation Tinkling.
Wherewithal The means.
Woebegone Sorrowful, downcast.

Hoama Soama

2010-03-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

Im leaving this island in 18 days, home in 19~~
I took down my bulletin board
I packed up two boxes
One drawer is almost empty
And all my books but a few are long gone

in the mean time
the friends
sun
beach
school
=
cheap life

my horoscope tells me i need to dish up some sh*t today.. whatevaaaaaaaaa

PINK the popstar

2010-03-22T17:07:00.000-07:00

pardon the sun for getting in my eyes
and forgive me making this a few weeks overdue

ps. i got asked if i was going for a Pink the pop artist look today...
answer. YES. so what?
bad bad pink jokes.

Asexual

2010-03-22T16:59:00.001-07:00

Dear You

2010-03-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

Dear blog,

Sorry i have been neglecting you. i will work on it. and i promise my tumblr isnt getting very much attention lately either

Dear Dayna,

You are my best friend. I Love you baby! and i always will no matter what. and im mad you still havent received my package!

Dear Ray,

Be mine in the sunshine. i cant wait to see you!

Dear Marissa,

I am going to miss you more then you know. k sweet sauce yo.

Dear Gym,

I always forget about how important you are to me. we were on such a high! what happened?

Dear Alicia,

What happened to the OC?

Dear Hawaii,

You have been nice. now stop with the rain and wind for a few days please

Dear Homework,

I am not going to miss you

Dear Mom,

How was your date with Gary? all i can think about right now is "now gary on the kick drum, come come"

Dear Utah,

PLEASE thaw out, PLEASE

Dear weekends,

Come faster! and end later

Sous

2010-03-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

I want to write a cookbook

BLONDE

2010-03-10T00:54:00.000-08:00

or yellow...

suedehead

2010-03-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

I love when i hardly sleep but feel like a perfect night
If i could take one thing out of life it would be sleeping

This week is a good week. i realized i really want to be a feminist attorney. i read the feminine mystique last summer but wasnt too interested in it, but i think ill go back and read more by Friedan. or perhaps start reading Allred's book.

My playlist is lacking. if you have any suggestions EMAIL me or just comment.

I wrote a few updated letters this week and i am REALLY going to mail them this time. so if youre expecting a letter from me, check your mail!

Marissa, Devin, Alicia and I watched a sunset and sunset

A-Ha

2010-03-08T17:12:00.000-08:00

<3 ash-o-lee

danit

2010-03-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

My filter is not working this week

King Lewis

2010-03-07T16:24:00.000-08:00

Marissa and I adopted a cat Lewis last week
We planned to keep him forever
in our little dorm room he was going to live
until he broke strike one
a few hours later
strike two
we bid him adieu

Heres to the best cat in the united states.
Its you Lewis
Its you!

Windy graham

2010-03-05T02:31:00.000-08:00

Wind is the weather i like the least
Wind is the weather i have lived in this week
STOP!
STOP!
STOP!

time is running

2010-03-05T02:06:00.000-08:00

My last post stressed me out. thinking of the unthinkable 47 pages of writing. So im going to break it down for my sanity and over all wellbeing as a student.
its only going to be 9 projects. 9 thats all. thats so simple. that is only 2 projects a week. and come to think of it, i really have nothing better to do with my time then fill my brain with information. and after filling it, it shouldnt be too hard to write it all out on the computer and submit my brain for a grade.

If there is one thing i know about time, it always runs out
the end always comes.
It seems like just barley we were all sitting on alicias bed coming up with a list of adventures to go on before we all leave this island, but actually that was a whole month ago...
1. hike laie falls
2. sunset@sunset
3. skydive
4. explore the point
5. shrimp shack
6. kailua or lanikai beach
7. surf at castles beach
8. chinamans hat
9. stairway to heaven
10. manawili falls
11. diamond head ( did this on a past hawaiian trip)
12. devin must kiss a boy
and we have cleared ZERO, NONE items off of that list

All my girlfriends are coming back in the fall. all but me. so its essential that i do

and witness #12

all the rest would be great, but unfortunately im not going to attempt to make time for them.
and actually if devin will just kiss a boy i would feel so complete. okay maybe not SO, but i would be feeling pretty awesome for her

mind wrestling

2010-03-04T21:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes i think ive been cast as the robot in this drama we all call life.
hiding emotions
bottling up
disappearing
maybe i really am not capable of feeling anything
maybe its my extremely red/type a personality
or maybe it is my past teaching me to not let external factors affect me.
I have been reminded time after time of my 'anxiety' issues and each time i hear it i think i start to believe that maybe i do have a little problem. but not really. i think it is completely normal for a girl to feel crazy at times. really its not me that is crazy. it my mind and my attitude telling me that im crazy. its my wacked out mind controlling my thoughts and my actions and my reactions. maybe i am crazy after all. but if i am so is everyone else.

Im feeling a lot of things this week
stressed
unattractive
distracted
mind blank
deranged
unhealthy
confused
overwhelmed
distraught
bothered
maybe more, but thats all my mind can conjure up right now

On a happier note, school ends in FOUR weeks! only four more weeks. and i can do it!

Fall back, in these coming four weeks i have exactly 47 pages of writing due.

This includes all my writing assignments for the rest of the semester in all my classes.

Im thinking about somehow relating them all together and just writing a short novel. JOKE

Lesson learned: NEVER take four history hours in one semester, no matter how smart you think you are!

Also im going to have to cut back on work. luckily i dont have an office job and many many things count as work hours.
I am living the college life. TOTALLY.
on yeah.. i have not worn a bra or underwear in the past two weeks. are they dirty? or am i just lazy? a little of both

*UPDATE**
1. I officially fit into a 34B bra (i can still wear my 32A bras luckily)
2. My size 27 pants are all almost too small now (hence im getting FAT) and i hardly have any size 28 (luckily the scale told me i have lost a few more of this hawaiian freshman weight)
3.Marissa and I adopted a cat, Lewis. then he left. (more on him in a later post)
4. I ran a 7.30 minute mile last night
5. I cut carbs out of my diet for the month its going well so far! (its only been a day)
6. My hair is forever changing, im a blonde now. but i have been braiding marissas hair every night and i have been missing long hair so much
7. I applied to college, now im waiting and going insane while doing so
8. I miss bella, i miss home. (mother got tickets for the stadium of fire AGAIN. we go every year and im excited to hang out with her. *confession* i have been youtubing carrie underwood music videos all week hoping to become a fan...still hoping)
9. DAYNA made a blog and i LURVVV it.
10. MORGAN made a blog as well, for some reason i cant look at it though...
11. im almost finished applying for some humanitarian projects, hopefully ill finish this week.
12. im going to get around to organizing the blog group, SOON

Are you okay?

2010-02-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

so i wake up this morning at 530 from a knocking on my door asking me if i was okay, and to report to the lounge, something about a tsunami and needing to get to higher grounds.
*#&$ its saturday and i just went to bed an hour ago. PLUS i have plans to go to the art museum! i remember someone talking about a tsunami last night but im still so confused.
I guess everything is closed and people are filling up their tanks of water and gas and heading to higher ground.
i wasnt too worried seeing as im on the north side and like half a mile away from the beach. but with all this chaos and people calling me asking if im okay im getting a little stressed! also people are really packing up and leaving!!!! by 1045 its 1041!
BYE

yada-la

2010-02-26T03:20:00.000-08:00

Being I, is like being tone deaf
The music plays
And I hear something
But it isnt what everyone else hears
Its like being a sheet of white blotting paper
The words come out of peoples mouths
And then disappear behind my face
Into a wall of falling snow

If, If, and If

2010-02-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

If I were a month, I’d be September

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday

If I were a time of day, I’d be midnight

If I were a planet, I’d be Venus

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a Dolphin
If I were a direction, I’d be West

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be an Antoinette Sofa

If I were a liquid, I’d be red wine

If I were a gemstone, I’d be a Diamond

If I were a tree, I’d be a Cheery tree
If I were a tool, I’d be a Power drill

If I were a flower, I’d be a Gerbera Daisy

If I were a kind of weather, I’d be cloudy, rain, and no wind

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a piano

If I were a color, I’d be grey

If I were an emotion, I’d be content

If I were a fruit, I’d be a banana

If I were a sound, I’d be rain falling on glass

If I were an element, I’d be fire

If I were a car, I’d be a smart car

If I were a food, I’d be chips and salsa

If I were a place, I’d be London, England

If I were a material, I’d be cotton

If I were a taste, I’d be sour

If I were a scent, I’d be fresh laundry

If I were an animal, I’d be a chimpanzee

If I were an object, I’d be a book

If I were a body part, I’d be eyes

If I were a facial expression, I’d be a half smile

If I were a song, I’d be Why cant i be you

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be a pair of black and white oxfords

Elephants

2010-02-25T01:13:00.000-08:00

Rachael Yamagata - New Music - More Music Videos

So for those of you falling in love
keep it kind
keep it good
keep it right

A dream within a dream

2010-02-24T21:57:00.000-08:00

Take this kiss upon the brow!

And, in parting from you now,

Thus much let me avow —

You are not wrong, who deem

That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away

In a night, or in a day,

In a vision, or in none,

Is it therefore the less gone?

All that we see or seem

Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar

Of a surf-tormented shore,

And I hold within my hand

Grains of the golden sand —

How few! yet how they creep

Through my fingers to the deep,

While I weep — while I weep!

O God! can I not grasp

Them with a tighter clasp?

O God! can I not save

One from the pitiless wave?

Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

-Edgar Allan Poe

Vitamin C

2010-02-23T03:34:00.000-08:00

I dont mind the taste of chewable vitamin c pills,
but i prefer the taste of chewed up swallowable ones instead

so far i have counted SEVEN bug bites on my legs. i cant imagine where they came from because i have been sitting on my bed writing a paper and youtubing for the past few lots of hours. ants.. damn ants..

technicolor yawn

2010-02-22T03:37:00.000-08:00

A few years back i had a newish friend who asked to bunk at my house for a few nights.
I said sure, only shortly after he arrived he came up with some awkward sickness that caused him to pray to the porcelain god over and over and over again. the only trouble being he had a case of the night soils as well.
at the time i wasnt completely sure how to approach the situation, so i ignored it pretending i knew nothing of his misfortunes. only after the acts continued on for two or so days this approach obviously failed. and i had to eventually take care of my newish friend and his spewwww.
I only bring this up because i had another awkward run in with the night soils tonight.

So i was sitting in my corner stall reading my book at 1 am when another girl walks in and chooses the stall next to me. it was fairly quiet in there. but i guess i was being extremely quite. non-existant quite. because she was SO loud. either she is a very confident girl or she had no idea i was there. she was making noises i have never heard before. i wasnt really sure if i should just remain quite to spare her the embarrassment or if i should quickly get up and leave so she would never know my identity. i was holding back my laugher so hard, so i decided to do a foot check to see if it was one of the core six. then i could laugh out loud and make them feel real awkward but okay at the same time. it definitely was not. after about five minutes of exotic bathroom noises (not to mention the smell) she flushed and left.

she left towards my hallway side. there are only three girl out from the core six. (since they probably dont read this im okay to say names) it definitely wasnt Ali the tan girl, which leaves Elke or Caroline. the Australian or the Chinese. my vote Australian.

Dear girl,
Thank you for letting me know how your fiber intake was today. i might bring up some new rules in the hallway tomorrow.
1. Pee only on our side PLS
2. ALL other business go to the other side!!!
3. thank you from your friendly neighbor
im sorry if it embarrasses you, but i want you to know its just for kicks. we may have our differences, but one things for sure. we were both sitting in a bathroom late one night. hoping to be alone. little did we know we were both soon going to be interrupted.

always,
Kenzi

tumble

2010-02-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

OH YEAH.
i FINALLY got TUMBLR figured out.
to all my faithful followers,
join me in the tumblr world as well!!!
to the rest of you,
happy lenting.

girl, interrupted

2010-02-21T18:55:00.000-08:00

As far as sunday goes
1.i slept for a wonderful 12 hours
2.watched girl, interrupted
3.re-painted my nails
4.ate a chocolate ball
5.took a shower
6.had the best chat with mom
7.watched an oc episode

Plan for tonight
1. GET UP!
2. feed my brain, my body maybeeez
3. tidy room
4. midterm study hopefully
5. sleep!

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted. -girl, interrupted

Sophie

2010-02-20T02:09:00.000-08:00

This might be a little dramatic but
I dont think im going to make it much longer unless i gift myself these SHOESSSSSSSSSS

I love them SO much.
likegivethemtomerightnow

LastFM

2010-02-19T02:47:00.000-08:00

Everyone should have one of these

plus to my baby sister

my little sunshine

peachy jill

my truest groupie

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

BUHHHHHHH

2010-02-18T17:14:00.001-08:00

stress equals zits
zits equal more stress
more stress equals bad grades
bad grades equal not good

I have something to tell you..

2010-02-17T02:32:00.000-08:00

I have email pen pals
I keep my cell phone nearby whenever im reading in case i dont know a words meaning
I daydream about WOW
I would spend money on clothing over anything, anyday
My favorite boys are the ones who can pull off long hair
I am paranoid about things touching my face
I constantly have thoughts and opinions running through my head, but putting them to words is one of the hardest things.
I always let my mind beat my body and heart
Of all the minds, the one i admire most is Churchill
I make the strangest noises and actions with my hands when im nervous or anxious
Sleeping people creep me out
I am scared of someone poking my feet with a needle in my sleep, so i cover my feet at all times.
I really really like byuh
I use extra strength deodorant
I have a HUGE stash of letters and emails written but never sent
I would chose bella over anyone
I can remember only one day in my life being completely happy, since then i can only remember feeling at least completely content
I procrastinate everything
I hate wearing underwear or bras, so i dont as often as possible
I have a crush on someone
Clowns are my biggest fear
Coffee always makes me physically feel better
I always wonder what the people in the elevator with me are thinking, and i usually make up scenarios.
I have a constant fear that everything could suddenly fall apart
I dont hate people i just like my thoughts better when im alone

HOKAY! So many secrets for one night

I am loving this song right now

2010-02-16T14:07:00.001-08:00

Democratic Peace

2010-02-16T12:43:00.000-08:00

I should be getting two packages from snail mail this week!
I should also be mailing out a few overdue. very overdue packages this week!

One midterm down, only four more to go. plus a duly noted paper to write.

I thought of this theory this morning. 'Countries who use Mac dont go to war with each other' and in this i mean countries who predominately use Mac.

On a final note, thanks Kelly for showing me this darling band!
I love you a lot KK!

Dexter

2010-02-15T16:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i got a random text out of nowhere that said,
"F*ck you Jessica.
Your a b*tch"

My first reaction was that they used the wrong "you're"
but aside from that i thought how rude the text was.
so i wrote back "That is very rude of you to say"

and they replied saying "your rude and that goes for your boyfriend too!'

im positive i dont personally know anyone named jessica who is a rude b*tch with a rude boyfriend, but to that anonymous texter, "f*ck you too"

the bucks

2010-02-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to one nostril breathing and the other not.
My throat sore with spikes running down its walls
The realization that i have not written my assigned articles for this week
And my head twisted like a cinnabun, that i want. but wont have

I think ill get a starbucks today
Isnt it interesting coffee is the third most valuable export commodity here next to oil and illegal drugs.
Still wish starbucks would up their game in fair trade beans, seems like a better use of my money. but for now while im carless, and moneyless ill continue to buy from them.

Heres to

2010-02-12T04:09:00.000-08:00

One of the most creative fashion designers of my teenage time
His spring 2008 RTW show blew my mind enchanted.
I remember sitting at my desktop computer looking through his collection and finding it absolutely stunning.
I adore all his work beyond anything.
Hopefully he lives on as an icon in the fashion world
Heres to the creative genius....
Lee Alexander McQueen

Jimmi Francoeur

2010-02-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

Is quickly making the ranks on my most visited websites page

These photos remind me of salt lake, whos to guess they were actually taken in the great city of salt?
probably not, but hey, they look close enough.
Jim (yes we are on on nickname bases in case you were wondering) is a photographer from Canada living in Canada.
Canada has got it going on lately!
Tegan and Sara
Jim Francoeur
Celine Dion
The Olympics
Maple Syrup
Now if only we could stop the seal slaughter, I probably maybe would LOVE to live there

Mauve Naïf

2010-02-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

Are you mad, or are you sad?
or are your eyes and hands always on the breasts?
I think im going to gift my self with a totem pole-esque scarf next paycheck.

Designer: Catherine Lebrun

Photographer: Jimmi Francoeur

foxets

2010-02-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

When i should be writing a long, space wasted paper i am reading blog friends posts and comparing CNN vs. Fox stories.
Fox is the only news channel played on campus. I actually enjoy fox. not for educational purposes, for entertainment and my daily dose of what the f*cks.

I really really
really
really
want
THIS

Home Wrecker

2010-02-09T03:14:00.000-08:00

Heres to the home wrecking theme.

Beyond scandalous.

photos via

Sebastian Faena

Arthur Elgort

The Movies

2010-02-09T02:57:00.000-08:00

As far as movies go, i have seen quite a few recently.
Avatar
Dear John
AdventureLand
Those are probably the only blog worthy ones.

Avatar was really great actually. I was a little hesitant to see it mainly because of the huge praise everyone was giving it. but i judged it too quickly. The pocahontas plus fern gully theme was not the most original but far better than ninety five percent of the other movies that follow the cinderella, beauty and the beast, and sleeping beauty themes. The love story in it was cute, and soft. and cute. but really i think love stories are getting old, especially since practically every movie AND every song are love themed. time to get creative Hollywood.

Dear John,
You are the saddest movie i have seen. I teared up a few times during you. and your twist really got me. i would have NEVER guessed. I wish you would have explained more. then again, now i can make my own assumptions. which are John and Savannah do not end up together. i kind of want to read the book to see if more is explained, but there are so many other books ahead of you on my list, so you will have to wait. and im not too worried about it because going back through my brain and pulling out all the details from the movie, john, you were clearly nearly five years older in the last scene with your facial hair and suave clothing, and that hug was so sweet and longing that if you were together you were definitely not sleeping in the same bed. and that would be a shame, i would much rather you two not be together, because then the long lost first love feeling can still remain in the back of your heart and mind.

And AdventureLand. Firstly i think Kristen Stewart is a hautie. i really think she is one of the more beautiful hollywood actresses. her eyes are mesmerizing. Michael Cera would have been a much better fit for the main role (james) i think was his name. i keep thinking Kristen Stewart and Michael Cera have a film together but i cant think of it. and Ryan Reynolds... since when are you a cheating asshole? all i could think about the whole time was Scarlet Johansson in hes just not that into you. their acting skills are very similar and their facial expressions and tone of voice the same too. they are married right? pretty shallow movie. reminded me of utah a little bit, in the sense of everyones everyday activities. but i was entertained. i like the home wrecker theme. kristen is too juvenile to pull it off though.

But a lot of the tv shows are making it work so good.

The Telenovela

2010-02-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

My eyelids weigh thirty pounds and my brain is near empty.

Still i have trouble sleeping. every time i close my eyes i dream of a classmate.

We met by a chair, with a braid in order.

Later a chance encounter at a retail store which led to hours of conversation.

He asked to see me again

And again

And the next thing i knew i was in a relationship with a stolen boy.

A close call and i came to my senses.

Unfortunately for me some don't like no as an answer.

MIND WACKED

2010-02-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

Only five more classes this week
Only five more classes this week

I am starting to love the weekdays over the weekends.
Only because they gym hours are much better.
I love the gym.

Who knew

2010-02-03T23:07:00.000-08:00

playing the piano could be so fashionable.

I recently learned Us on the piano!
Thanks to the talented and wonderful Dan and Alicia.
Now i have to get ready for my big debut in april. or just my music 101 final.